Is it really affecting me? I thought I didn't care - I mean I look OK for 43 but something is bugging me.
It all started this morning when I quickly caught up on Corrie with a cup of tea - fast forwarded most of it! One by one my 3 daughters came down and sat with me eating their breakfasts. When corrie finished I got up to get on with housework - they sat there while I dusted and plumped cushions. I waited to hoover but had I been more persistent they would have only put the subtitles on!!
Thoughts running through my head were how selfish they were, mixed with they're only young and shouldn't have to worry about housework. Something is not right because when two of them pushed past the empty laundry basket to get upstairs, failing to take it up with them I burst into tears!! How pathetic!
Should I steam and fume inwardly or have a go and get accused of being a moody, nagging mum?
As long as they are OK they don't seem to care. I was planning to go out but no. 2 wants a lift to work. It is great that she works and earns herself money and she is a reliable, hard worker, as well as school work.But when I said I had been planning to go out she got all tearful on me and made me feel bad. She is perceptive though and has noticed I'm in a mood about something, but I know that if I told her why an argument would ensue.
All week I juggle work and home life and would just appreciate a bit of help at home - but I am sick of hearing my own nagging voice. I have really brought them up to be so in-considerate? The trouble is the jobs I want them to help with aren't exciting.
No 1 just goes all quiet on me and disappears to her room and no 3 has pangs of guilt and tries to make it up. I meanly rejected her first attempt, something in my brain telling me not to but I did it anyway.
What makes people depressed? I have a good life compared to many, a lovely husband and 3 daughters to be proud. I enjoy my job too. But there is this dark feeling that comes over me ... can't explain it and I feel guilty having it.
Is it to do with getting old? Lack of money? Sometimes I get that sinking feeling that I'm never going to see all the places I want to in the world.
I feel I want to cope on my own and not involve others, keep it private. It could cause more trouble as it puts pressure on others to do better for me which is sometimes out of their control. But then, if I don't explain they bear the brunt of it with my moods
Anyway enough ranting - I've got it off my chest although it still feels heavy. I've got to take no 2 to work now.
My kids make me feel old - they love me I am sure of this - but when they take the mickey of my singing along or things I say they make feel stupid and old. When I'm with my contemporaries I feel fine, equal to them and amusing. I suppose their time will come when their teenagers make them feel the same way!
It all started this morning when I quickly caught up on Corrie with a cup of tea - fast forwarded most of it! One by one my 3 daughters came down and sat with me eating their breakfasts. When corrie finished I got up to get on with housework - they sat there while I dusted and plumped cushions. I waited to hoover but had I been more persistent they would have only put the subtitles on!!
Thoughts running through my head were how selfish they were, mixed with they're only young and shouldn't have to worry about housework. Something is not right because when two of them pushed past the empty laundry basket to get upstairs, failing to take it up with them I burst into tears!! How pathetic!
Should I steam and fume inwardly or have a go and get accused of being a moody, nagging mum?
As long as they are OK they don't seem to care. I was planning to go out but no. 2 wants a lift to work. It is great that she works and earns herself money and she is a reliable, hard worker, as well as school work.But when I said I had been planning to go out she got all tearful on me and made me feel bad. She is perceptive though and has noticed I'm in a mood about something, but I know that if I told her why an argument would ensue.
All week I juggle work and home life and would just appreciate a bit of help at home - but I am sick of hearing my own nagging voice. I have really brought them up to be so in-considerate? The trouble is the jobs I want them to help with aren't exciting.
No 1 just goes all quiet on me and disappears to her room and no 3 has pangs of guilt and tries to make it up. I meanly rejected her first attempt, something in my brain telling me not to but I did it anyway.
What makes people depressed? I have a good life compared to many, a lovely husband and 3 daughters to be proud. I enjoy my job too. But there is this dark feeling that comes over me ... can't explain it and I feel guilty having it.
Is it to do with getting old? Lack of money? Sometimes I get that sinking feeling that I'm never going to see all the places I want to in the world.
I feel I want to cope on my own and not involve others, keep it private. It could cause more trouble as it puts pressure on others to do better for me which is sometimes out of their control. But then, if I don't explain they bear the brunt of it with my moods
Anyway enough ranting - I've got it off my chest although it still feels heavy. I've got to take no 2 to work now.
My kids make me feel old - they love me I am sure of this - but when they take the mickey of my singing along or things I say they make feel stupid and old. When I'm with my contemporaries I feel fine, equal to them and amusing. I suppose their time will come when their teenagers make them feel the same way!
